Memoirs of an open mind

Part four: The world that is and the world that could have been

 

The forest started glowing in luminescent light the further Celica got on her voyage. Mushrooms started to give away a soft and warm glow, ranging from deep blue to bright orange. Trees moved in the warm winds and released leaves shining in vibrant green colors. Even the ground started to live, wherever she looked there were small movements. Some playful, others careful-almost shy-but they were all following her. She could hear laughter echo from nowhere, children’s voices whispering from behind trees as Celica walked by, but when she looked there wasn’t anything hiding.

Now the ground started to give away tones, literally sounding like instruments Celica had never heard! One tone for each step she took, she could also see how the specific spot where her foot pressed against the surface lit up with white circles, disappearing only after she no longer stood there. It was a sensation to say the least, this sensation comforted Celica and filled her heart with joy. She had never seen anything like it, perhaps no human had.

 

Celica could see the trees growing farther apart now, between the cracks she saw the vast sky filled with bright stars. The full moon also made his presence known by casting his light between the treetops, forming shadows eager to join the dance around Celica. In the moonlight she could also see a point beyond the woods were there was a big opening, in this opening she saw flowers moving in the midnight winds caressing them like a lovers touch. The meadows.

Suddenly-as she realized what she saw-all the music and all the vibrant colors seemed to fade distinctively for each step she took closer to the beginning of the meadows. As the last dying light burned out Celica could swear she heard a deep sigh from within the woods, it almost sounded as a warning. But she couldn’t really tell.

 

As she approached the tree line she started to feel something grow within her. A worry that clenched a steady grip around her throat, she swallowed.

The meadows spread for vast distances in every direction. Celica had trouble seeing any end to it besides the woods behind her. It was pretty easy to see in front of her thanks to the bright full moon casting its graceful light down from the big sky.

Hadn’t it been for this worry growing steadily inside of her she might have been disappointed. At first glance the meadows appeared to be nothing but a field of grass and flowers. Then she noticed how the flowers all bent towards her from every direction, no matter the wind. It seemed almost like every growing plant within a two meters radius from Celica seemed unaffected by the blowing wind, instead all the plants leaned and bowed for Celica as if accepting her as their new master. Then when she increased her distance they straightened up and became suddenly aware of the air again. Celica found it strange and increased her pace through the meadows.

Something touched Celica’s shoulder. She gasped. Then she felt another cold caress across her waist, then another through her hair. She could not see the assailant, so she blinked. When blinking she saw the reason why no one ever went beyond the woods, why the meadows had been forbidden. She saw it all.

 

First Celica could only see the spirits flying around her, the ones who had touched and caressed her seemed all friendly. They appeared almost human in their long white transparent dresses, most of them were women. Their faces were blurred out and they had no hands.

Then she saw beyond the spirits surrounding her, she saw an ocean of different creatures. Were they spirits or ghosts? She couldn’t tell. Some looked friendly and calm, others had horns and different war-paintings on their chests. Others were missing heads and others were totally disfigured. It seemed though as the meadows was the meeting place for all spirits, the blessed and the damned.

This was all a little much for Celica to take in so she screamed, overwhelmed by all the impressions. She never stopped blinking for a second, Celica intended to observe every single thing moving around since she feared more than one of them wouldn’t hesitate to hurt her.

Her scream caused every single thing to swirl and fly in increasing speed and in random aggressive patterns, she had only seen this type of behavior from the village’s bees once when a box was dropped and the hive within destroyed. But these were ghosts, were they supposed to behave like this?

“What made you the expert on spirits?” something said behind her.

Once again Celica shrieked and turned around.

“No need to scare them even more, is it?” said the voice belonging to a tall man behind her. Or maybe it was more the spirit of a man. He had an enormous black beard, shaved head and was wearing an impressive knight’s armor with an insignia of a red dragon bursting in flames on his chest. An honorable knight for sure, had he been alive. Now his spectral form was missing legs, instead he seemed to simply fade from the waist down.

“Who are you?” Celica asked scared.

“My name is Sir August or August the firm. Knight of three from the castle Feathergun. Died many hundred years ago in a battle not far from here against Bartholomew over there, although we’ve been friends for the last decade. Now we laugh about it mostly.” he exclaimed.

Celica realized she had stopped blinking while listening to this specter in front of her. “How come I can see you without blinking?” she asked.

“Really now girl, millions of question going on in your head and this is the question you chose? You puzzle me. Nevertheless I shall answer your question truthfully! Behold!” he disappeared in front of Celica’s eyes, reappeared then swooped down so his face was at level with Celica. “I appear in front of you because it is of my own doing. I choose to appear and thus shall I appear in front of thee!” he sounded proud as he explained.

Celica thought this new found knight funny but she was not as convinced about all the events happening behind her back. She looked around worried.

“No need to fear these spirits girl, they are as afraid of you as you are of them. Consider them as spiders if you may.” Sir August snickered.

Celica seemed calmer which gave Sir August that proud look again. Celica stared at the knight and bit her lip. “How come you can read my thoughts?” she asked.

“Where would I be if I couldn’t? Nowhere is where!” Sir August chuckled. “But surely though, it is but a trait I’ve discovered during my time here. Something for mine entertainment merely, nothing more.”

“You do know it is rude to listen into people’s thoughts without them knowing?” Celica scolded Sir August.

The specter knight raised one eyebrow. “You do know it is considered rude scaring peaceful citizens, dead as they may be?” he retaliated.

Celica looked down on her shoes and stroke her left arm. “No.” she admitted.

“Then we both have something we’re not proud of young girl. Now tell me, art thou here to finally complete the trial?” Sir August asked.

Celica looked confused. “What trial?” she asked.

“The trial of worlds of course!” the knight noticed the confusion spreading on Celica’s face. “And they not only sent a child, they sent an ignorant child! Splendid.” he murmured.

“Hey! I’m not ignorant and nobody sent me!” Celica snapped back.

“No one sent you girl?” Sir August asked shocked. “Then why are you here about the trial of worlds then?” he asked.

“I don’t know, you mentioned the trials not I.” she responded.

“Ah yes, yes. Truthful you are and forgetful I am. Well then, “ he cleared his throat, “the trial of worlds is really a trivial task for anyone to complete. However the result from completing or failing could mean the difference between life and death. New and old.” he waved his index finger in a warning gesture. “The world is changing little girl, and since you are the first human to set foot on the other side of the woods in at least fifty years I’d say it’s a safe bet it will be far too late whenever the next person comes through.”

“Too late for what?” Celica asked.

“Not paying attention are we?” the knight sighed. “Your village was once cursed. You see it burned down completely, I’d say about… Eighty years ago?” Sir August pondered.

“Hundred and twenty!” someone cried.

“Ah yes! Thank you Bartholomew!” Sir August cried back. Sir Bartholomew waved back in acknowledgement. “A splendid chap that man, no idea what our quarrel was about back in the day. No idea… Anyhow, your village burned down over a decade ago and everyone died.” Sir August said without thinking about what impact his words might have on Celica. When he looked at the girl she stood there, eyes wide, mouth open and completely frozen. “Ah well, you did survive. In a way.” the added quickly. “But you are not living among the living anymore. So it’s not all that bad.” he tried in an awkward attempt to comfort Celica.

“Am I dead?”

“No, not really. Well you are not alive if that’s what you’re asking.” Sir August did not expect this issue to become something so sinister.

“What am I then? What are we all?” Celica asked still bewildered.

“You are and you aren’t. This is all very complicated. You exist in the world where your forefathers died in the burning village, however on the day all of you were going to be released to heaven something happened. There was a change of order.” the specter said.

“What change of order?” Celica didn’t really understand.

“Are you Christian?” Sir August asked.

“Yes. We all are.”

“So is yours truly, catholic?”

“Yes of course.”

“Aaah and there you have it!” Sir August exclaimed.

“I still don’t understand.” Celica said confused.

“Around our world we have many different spaces that circle around in deep space, pockets you might call them. In a certain pocket you might find smaller trivial things, like all evil in existence. In another you will find passageways onto different dimensions, others serve as sanctuaries for different species.”

“Like Gwarockies?” Celica asked.

“Yes, yes exactly like Gwarockies. Where have you encountered them girl? Oh it doesn’t matter. What matters is these pockets only exist in a limited amount, they also have a limited amount of space within them. That’s the whole dilemma right there, since there is only one pocket for religious souls who go to heaven and one pocket for those who go to hell the rules over which religion get to occupy them are very strict. Every time a larger religion than Catholic Christianity comes into rule we risk losing more places up in our ‘heaven’. Now it has gone thus far that all of the Catholic Christians are thrown out due to bigger religions ruling.”

“I think I might understand.” Celica said but she really had no clue.

“Good for you, fantastic! So you see, when your village burned down you were all supposed to go to heaven. Apart from that hideous bard of course. But on that night your world stopped existing and the new world of Neo-Christianity got more followers resulting in all of us getting cast out. Your village left in limbo.” Sir August explained.

“What is limbo?” Celica asked.

“It is the dimension left on earth, once it only served as a passageway between worlds for demons and otherworlders to travel with ease. Nowadays it looks more like a waiting terminal for lost souls. The problem with existing in limbo is how frail this place really is, more times than not the invisible walls between our world and the ‘real’ world become so frail we can actually see living beings. And sometimes-God forbids-they can see us. This is especially worrying.”

“So we are not supposed to be here really, but cannot escape because there is no room in these pockets?” Celica asked.

“More or less child, more or less.” Sir August responded.

“So is limbo another pocket?”

“Heavens no! It is just limbo. A very crowded limbo as you might see. All of the meadows, all of the Christian souls occupying it. Sinners and saints side by side, fathers next to their daughters whom they caught in the hay with strangers pre-marriage. Children standing next to adults whom used the Lord’s name in vain. It’s all very tragic.” the knight shook his head in sorrow.

“What does ‘the hay’ mean Sir August?” Celica asked.

Sir August’s eyes widened and he looked at the girl as though he was caught doing something nasty. “Nothing you need to worry your little head with girl!” he responded and in a tone that said it was a closed topic from now on.

“So what will happen to us now?” Celica then proceeded.

“Well, your village is blessed in a way. Your forefathers who burned became the creators of life in limbo. Since they no longer had to follow the same rules as other deceased souls. They defied it all and thus you exist. You are an exception in a wicked world girl.” the knight said with joy in his voice. “For limbo is no permanent residence, if it gets to crowded we will all be damned. Just as if you would die, then you would be damned as well.”

“What happens if you are damned?” Celica wondered.

“Your existence is erased, you never were and will never be. Your soul will be disintegrated at such a microscopic level that no one even has a word for it yet.” the knight responded.

“My father is dead. Most of my family is.” Celica stated.

“I’m sorry girl. But right now there’s no time to mourn unfortunately, think of the lives you might save instead. If you complete the trials you might save all of us. Even the hideous homosexuals out on the field.” the knight pointed with a disgusted frown but Celica could only see bright souls, Celica figured the ones with a more red color were the sinners and the ones Sir August pointed at were nothing but bright spirits flying around in harmony.

“I see nothing wrong with the spirits you call ‘homoseksuals’.” she said.

 Sir August appeared angered by Celica’s comments. “Never you mind girl, don’t let those liars deceive you. However, even their souls can be saved.”

“They do appear to be just as any other soul Sir August.” Celica persisted.

“I’m taught not to see them in that manner.” Sir August replied.

“What is a homosexual?” Celica asked.

“A man who commits sin, a man falling in love with a man and a woman falling for a woman, it’s all very gruesome really.” Sir August said.

“I don’t see how it would be a problem.” Celica said with a smile.

Sir August seemed very annoyed by Celica’s innocent thoughts. He remained speechless for a little while until Celica felt really uncomfortable, she could not understand what had angered the knight so but she felt it wasn’t her place to wonder right now.

“Can we save them?” Celeste wondered.

“Yes. Everyone can be saved. Even sinners.” Sir August confirmed.

“How?” Celica asked.

“By creating the world that could have been.”